Who came first - the runner or the chaser?
It doesn't really matter what side or label you feel like you fall under because we've all got a little run and go seek within us.
And, I know...I know...there are going to be people out there who stand by their truth that they have never been the runner twin. But we have all had a feeling of "How do I get out of this labyrinth called the twin flame journey?!"
...I know I have...
The thing about the experience of us running or our twin running from the connection is that it all boils down to one of two things; that you all are feeling deeply unsafe within your inner child and are running to find safety, or the vibrational leveling up is creating a discord within the energetic matching between yourself and them.
But from our human perspective, from the eyes of our Ego and wounded inner child, when the other person runs - it is because they don't love us or we are not good enough for them.
And on the flip-side of that coin is that the person who is running feels like you won't love them and they aren't good enough for you!
Gotta love that mirror effect between twins!
Once you process through enough of your inner child wounds and release a lot of those victim stories, you begin to realize that you also have moments where you don't feel safe and you want to react because it would be easier to hurt them before they hurt you.
And, honestly, in my truth of truths - I have absolutely no desire to run away from myself or this connection. Yes, it can feel like the absolute bane of my existence on some days when everything is unclear and I feel lost in a maze of illusions. But this connection always calls me back home to me.
Have you felt like the runner?
Have you wanted to avoid looking past your wounds and trauma?
Has it felt easier to just blame them and push them away with defensive reactions?
Have you wanted to just send them a farewell message, block them from contacting you, and move on in your life?
...only to run into a million signs and synchronicities reminding you of your soul mission?
Welcome to the Twin Flame journey, where escaping is not an option and where your choice to surrender to moving through the challenging aspects is more viable and easier than trying to run away and around the mountains that are in front of you!
So, how do we learn to stand still when all we want to do is run away? How do we release attachment to the knee-jerk reaction to sprint during this marathon? Because let's face it, you cannot listen to that knee-jerk reaction to sprint right off the starting line because you will burn out within the first few miles.
Step One, Acknowledge the Knee-Jerk
The first step in any good program is to acknowledge the problem or the situation at hand. And, that's what you have to do in this situation.
Is your knee-jerk coming from a truthful place, or from that scared 3 or 4-year-old inner child within you who have felt unsafe after mommy or daddy left or yelled at them, or a plethora of other kinds of experiences went down?
Most of the time, (unless your knee-jerk occurs after an abusive situation), that knee-jerk is stemming from the root cause of your core wound. There is an aspect of yourself that is looping a pattern or cycle from your early childhood or a past-life, and you are reliving the energy of this situation now.
The best way to stop yourself from making a choice from a reactionary space is to stop, take five deep breaths, and check-in with yourself.
Move past the IT, the Ego, and connect back in with God/Source and your Higher Self. Don't make faulty decisions off of half-cocked feelings.
Feelings are fickle and they will fade. The heat of the moment is a dangerous time to make a decision, (unless, of course, your physical safety is at hand). So, let the emotional waters calm down long enough for you to acknowledge what is really going on right now.
I have sent some lovely texts on half-cocked feelings of anger! And guess what? Once you hit that little SEND button, your words are now permanently out there. Your recipient can never un-receive that text. They may forgive you, but they don't have to forget it happened. And if you say some dicey things based on your own core wounds? Then "clean up" will have to happen to repair your relationship.
Step Two, Don't Bypass Your Feelings - or they will creep in and find you!
If need be, write that 'ish down! Write about your feelings - all of them! - in your journal. Get all that deep poison out of your system.
Honestly, at the end of the day, those harsh words are merely aspects of your inner child wanting to be seen and heard. So, allow your inner child to be seen and heard in a healthy way!
I am very much so anti spiritually or emotionally bypassing your core wounds. Anyone who tells you to positive mindset your feelings away so you can, like, manifest your twin flame has false light programming written all over them.
Remember that healthy emoting is a natural process of grieving - and our emotional waters are typically the most tumultuous during those times that we are allowing old timelines and programming to fall out of our energetic field and within our connection.
If you feel angry, write about it (or sing it out!).
If you feel sad, write about it.
If you feel confused, lost, over it, write about it!
By releasing the energetic build-up from repressed emotions linked to past traumas, you put yourself in the driver's seat of your own experience. You allow yourself to become the witness of your emotions instead of the victim or critic of how you are feeling.
Give your inner child the podium for a moment and let it all out to yourself.
Step Three, Do the INNER-getic Clean-Up and Heal Yo'self
After you release all the emotions and allow yourself to just be with your feelings, now it is time to locate the root cause of these emotions and shift out old timelines from your energetic field! As quantum as that sounds, it's actually an easy process to move through.
Check-in with your emotions, check-in with the sensations in your body, and reconnect to the emotional and physical energies trying to play out right now. Allow these two experiences to be the guiding light to the initial point of trauma.
Recently, I had so much anger spewing over and I felt so manipulated and betrayed that I just wanted to punch a wall! But one day, I sat down with anger and asked her what was going on - and she told me. Anger led me back, all the way back, to 7-year-old me who just found out her father has been married for a year and had withheld that information from her.
I remember that day just like it was yesterday because it was traumatic enough to have a deep effect on my DNA and many of the cycles I have played out with men in the past. But the only way I could have even pinpointed the initial point of pain was to tap into my feelings and the body sensations of posturing, clenching my fists, and wanting to fight. - That was my guiding light back to my soul fragment that was stuck on a loop.
Once you connect with those feelings and body sensations, allow your Higher Self to take you back to the initial point of pain from your early childhood or a past-life. Travel back to that moment and re-write that story. Express yourself and clean up that moment in time. Regain your power and merge with that fragment, and watch as miracles take place in your life!
Step Four, Be Patient With Yourself - You're In Transition...
This is the fun part - patiently waiting on the Universe to move, for timelines to shift, and for aspects of yourself to fully integrate!
When you take the time to not run from yourself or this connection, to acknowledge your feelings, to process out old programming and energies, and to say yes to a more authentic experience within your twin flame connection - you say yes to the experience of being in transition and needing to be patient with yourself and your twin flame.
Yes, your work has a way of shifting them as well since you all share the same energetic field.
I remember when I started to do the work with Quantum Inner Child Healing this year - I found out that everything I had been working on was the same things that my twin flame was also working on! And, mind you, we weren't talking about the inner work we had been doing.
As I unpacked old wounds connected to fear of self-expression and fear of my true feelings, so was he!
By the time we started to reach that point of alignment within the energetic transitioning, the mirroring back of the leveling up we had done was palpable! I always joke that it felt like I was interacting with a whole new person as a whole new person.
Trust in the work you do for yourself and your own ascension process because it reverberates out into the cosmos and shifts you, your twin flame connection, your family and friendships, and your whole life!
Literally!
But it takes time to fully integrate the energetic work you are doing. It takes a moment to fully crystallize that work in the physical world - so, be patient and trust yourself and what you are doing.
You will learn that you don't have to run away from the pain because there are an infinite amount of divine gifts available if you choose to run through the pain. You end up making it to the other side. You end up feeling more in control and empowered than ever before! You end up feeling safe by questioning your own feelings of unsafety.
If you want to learn how to stand still when all you want to do is run away, learn how to witness the ouch and sit with it. All it wants is for someone to listen and to help with processing old situations. When you can allow yourself space to just sit still and listen to you, you move mountains and realize that the only thing you were trying to escape from was an illusion.
You realize that you can exit your own funhouse of mirrors and discontinue facing illusory reflections of yourself. You can embrace the possibility of experiencing truth and clarity, even when things feel a bit hazy.
And something beautiful occurs when you choose to sit still and not run anymore - you discontinue the need to chase external safety nets as well. And when you learn to sit still and go within to find your internal safety net, you end the cycle of running and chasing.
It may not happen all at once, it may be a bumpy road to ending this cycle of runner-chaser - but you are taking the first steps to no longer agreeing to have this experience within your twin flame connection.
The only reason we get stuck in the cycle of runner-chaser is that we continue to agree to it, unconsciously. So, consciously choose to break that agreement and cycle. Free yourself from that loop.
Let's connect! Follow me over on Instagram @taylorrinercoach, or over on Facebook at facebook.com/taylorriner222.
Make sure to tune into my podcast channel, The Divine Feminine Chronicles Podcast, as well!
Big love to you all!
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